Recently, Haven Middle School in Evanston, IL banned leggings and yoga pants. This seemed kind of weird to me. Presumably, the girls who are choosing to wear these common items of clothing are doing it because it makes them feel comfortable and happy. Then I figured out that it wasn’t the girls’ education the administrators were worried about; it was the male students. In fact, according to 13-year-old Sophie Hasty, as quoted in the Evanston Review, she was specifically told her leggings were “too distracting to boys.” After all, we can’t risk the future of America being lured off the path of education by the evil that is fabric-covered legs

“What a brilliant idea!” I thought to myself, after the several hours it took my slow, female brain to process the new information. In fact, why stop at banning certain items of clothing? I propose we get rid of everything that could be distracting our precious male students. We need to stop teachers from decorating their walls, as their motivational graphics could cause those poor, helpless boys to be rendered unable to learn for days on end. No more talk of sports either, as March Madness alone probably dropped everyone’s GPA down a point or two. At the bare minimum, we need to ensure girls wear the plainest and baggiest pants possible, as any hint that a high school female may possess legs could lead to months upon months of unimaginable chaos.

All kidding aside, the idea of banning clothing based solely on the premise it could distract boys is ridiculous. Now, it’s true that I get dressed every morning with the goal of sabotaging the education of as many boys as possible, but from what I can tell, people usually make their fashion decisions based on what makes them feel good. Sure, trends may have some impact, but when it comes down to it, fashion is all about expressing yourself and, particularly in middle and high school, developing your own personal style.

Actually, now that I think about it, what people choose to wear can have some impact on education. To prove it, let me share a brief anecdote about a sarcastic former middle schooler who we’ll call “Not Emma.” Although Not Emma spent a lot of her middle school years moping around and being miserable, she found a lot of joy in experimenting with different fashion styles. Sometimes, her fashion choices did not quite match up with the school’s vague but strictly enforced dress code, and so she was pulled out of class not once, but twice to be given a lecture about appropriate school attire. Needless to say, the time Not Emma spent being scolded about how what a terrible person she was for daring to wear tights and a skirt was time that could have been spent on real education. This irony seemed to fly over the school official’s heads, but it left Not Emma with a deep distrust of authority, as well as a fun story to include in her newspaper column.

Leggings and yoga pants don’t distract from the learning process. Being forced to keep in mind arbitrary, sexist rules while choosing an outfit, and then being pulled out of class for not complying with them does distract from the learning process. I’m thankful that DHS is pretty relaxed about the dress code, but it’s still absurd that so many schools get so caught up with the way girls choose to cover their legs, or how thick tank top straps have to be. And quite frankly, if you oversexualize and objectify the female body to the point where a leg or shoulder renders you unable to learn, I’d like you to consider that maybe you’re the problem.